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Sunday July 20th 2003 11:46 AM PST

There is one thing about moving that is fun. You end up finding shit that you've been looking for, or you find shit that just ends up bring back memories. So today i was throwing out a bunch of old magazines and papers when i came across a old issue of the Los Angeles Times. Tuesday September 1, 1998. The day after the Dow took a 516 point shit. My brother was working on the floor of the Pacific Stock Exchange at the time and the cover shot is a picture of him on the trading floor with his head in his hands.

As i keep digging i find a keychain that has a bunch of little knick knacks on it. There's a little gold eagle that i got when i became an eagle scout, and a few other little stupid things. But the most amusing is the little key on it.

Back before i had braces i had to have a "upper palette expander" cemented into my mouth. My upper jaw was too narrow, and this thing would literally push the two sides of my jaw apart. The problem was... I had to crank it myself. I had to pop this little key into a hole in the fuckin apparatus that was inside my mouth and then push it back toward the back of my mouth. One quarter turn felt like someone was trying to force a crowbar into my mouth. i had to crank it one half turn in the morning and one half turn in the evening. I hated this fuckin thing. I had headaches for a month until one morning i woke up and the "expander" had finally broken the bone of my upper jaw. I didn't exactly know that this was what was going to happen,and that it was expected. So i wake up with a gap between my front teeth that was literally about a centimeter wide. I had to leave the expander in my mouth for another 4 months to wait for my bone to regrow, and all the time i sounded like a fuckin moron.