Untitled

Monday August 4th 2003 08:05 PM PST

I just about at the end of my rope. I've got 6 days before i leave on vacation and i've got more work to do than you can possibly imagine. So i am about 1 step away from a fuckin breakdown. I just don't think i am going to make it. I have one more day on dial up and then maybe i will feel less fuckin helpless. I have to drive to my parents house every time i need to get a large email or send anything out. Its a damn joke.

I need a change. I need to just be a fucking code monkey again. Stupid fuckin 9 to 5 job and nothing else. Can somebody out there turn me into a drone? I really want it. I need the money and I don't care about being happy. I'm not happy now, so what's the fuckin difference.

The sad thing is that i am no longer looking forward to hawaii. I am almost dreading it. I know i am not going to have as much fun as i could cause i have things hanging over my head. I've got a huge deadline to deal with when i get back and i am behind schedule as always.

I drank way too much last night to try to get away from all this shit. I spend the evening at the beach with Jon and a bunch of other people. Jen and I stayed way too long, but had a great time. I am in the state of mind now where i don't think about how much fun i had.... i think about all the shit i didn't get done.

Fuck it

6 days and counting.

Knowing my luck, i'll get everything done, and then get hit by a fuckin car.

Comments:

Well, it was fucking fun having you guys out, and as far as I am concerned,...it's the fuckin' summer, and summer is meant for good times with good friends, and work should be the least of priorities...oh yeah, there is that money thing, huh? Well, I understand, but I am damn glad you stayed! After you guys get back from Hawaii, you gotta cruise out again! Oh, and you really need to stop resenting going to Hawaii...I mean, seriously, Dave, listen to yourself...it's Hawaii! I know you're venting, so that's cool, but...if you really feel that way, can I have your tickets? *8+)

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