Yesterday's plane flight was the best i have ever been on. It was clear all the way, not a single bump, and a good landing. AND there were about 50 screaming kids on the fuckin plane. This was a little hard to deal with, but in the long run it was more fun that i could possibly imagine.
Jen's mother grabbed a wheelchair in the airport, so we were the first to board the plane. Jen me and her brother were back in coach and were all settled by the time the masses started to get onboard. Now if you have ever watched a family of 6 try to pick seats on an airplane, AND when their seats are split all over two aisles... this is PURE entertainment. The two boys are fighting over the seat closest to the window. the sister doesn't want to sit near them. the dad just wants to sit next to his wife. the toddler is smiling at me. i'm laughing. The boys start pushing each other the sister boots her father from the other aisle seat. now he's stuck in the middle seat and not next to his wife. The wife is just standing there with the toddler over her shoulder. the toddler is still smiling. The boys switch seats a few more times while hitting each other. everybody is seated. PAUSE. they forgot to get all their shit out of the bags they just put in the overhead bins. back up. i'm still laughing. The toddler is asleep already.
So during the flight most of the parents that have crying kids do nothing but laps. The walk up one aisle with the kid in their arms, and then down the other. one lady must have gone around the plane at least 20 times. The kid would be great while they were being walked around. Not a peep out of them. As soon as the mother would sit down, the baby would scream its ass off.
I watch the mother with the toddler pull out a portable DVD player. She's got the idea. Give the kids something to watch on the plane. FUCK, that's what i would want. Its gotta be the best way to make the kid happy. So she pops the player down in front of the kid and i am expecting disney SHIT. Or maybe some dreamworks animation or something. I GOT SO PISSED! This kid sat for 5 hours and watched Futurama!!!!! That would have been the best way to deal with a plane flight!!! Well maybe a couple hours of Futurama and then a few of the Simpsons. I was so jealous.
When we finally got on the ground we were about 20 minutes early, but you'd think that would mean we would get home early. nope. don't take super shuttle. They suck. We sat for 45 minutes waiting for them to get a van to us. Jen's father had prepaid, so i think they figured they were not going to lose our business. So we finally got a driver and got on the road. This guy could not keep inside the lanes on the freeway. I honestly have not seen somebody drive this bad since i was in a cab in London.
So now i have deadlines again and gotta get on the move.
