Jen and i take a walk, i take a nap after and then we sit on the deck for a couple hours. No shopping means no fights. We head out to Buffalo Nickel for dinner. There is not a HUGE waste treatment plant on the island, so most of the solid waste is taken off the island on a barge and processed on the mainland. There were about 10 large containers waiting for the barge right next to buffalo nickel so the smell was not that nice outside. Inside everything is fine. Again, no shopping and no fight.
After dinner we go back to play more dominoes. We head to bed.
Saturday morning we've got reservations for the Inn on Mount Ada for breakfast. We head up there for a great breakfast and a great view. It starts to rain a little while we were there. I go the bathroom and on my way out i visit the office and pay the bill for breakfast just as i had intended to do from the very beginning. Jen and I had made the reservation and we wanted to take my parents there. Well this started it. Jen then came into the office and saw a photo album that she knew her brother would love. So she attempts to buy it quickly without my mother seeing. Cause you know... that is not something Jen should be doing. Well mother walks in and discovers our sin. She immediately is back into aggressive christmas mode. She starts to look over all the things that Jen has already seen and pouts about the fact she cannot get anything for david bermingham. She won't fuckin quit at his point and i'm not in the position there to try to tell her to shut the fuck up. I figure she's just going to burn out and shut up herself. Nope. We get back into the cart and start back to the condo. She goes on and on about lists and presents and the fact that WE need to help her shop for David. We both are so fuckin annoyed at this point, and i can not believe that she can't see it. She continues. I finally say, we will take care of it, this is not the time to deal with Christmas shopping. She's PISSED. She cant believe that i'm telling her to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Jen is visibly pissed as well. She wants to get something for her brother and all she's dealing with is my mothers intimidation.
We get to hamilton and Jen walks in the bedroom and changes to go on a run. She doesn't say anything to anybody and my mom gets miffed by this and runs into her room. Jen comes out crying. She's not on vacation to deal with my mother. She doesn't say anything to my mother. Its better if she doesnt blow up.
I sit there and watch TV for a few minutes and then lay down for a nap. Jen gets back and joins me. Neither of us have said anything to my mother. She's just been grading papers. So after the nap we get ready to go on a walk. I'm putting my shoes on and say to my mother, we need to call barb and make a reservation for dinner. She snaps back "NO, we'll call barb, cause we're paying for dinner, like we should have paid for breakfast!" I respond. Fine, but we need to call barb. I sit down to put on my shoes and then the flood gates open. I don't even remember what the first thing out of her mouth was, but my response was "Oh, we're starting."
This little encounter turns to screaming QUICKLY. My mother has been stewing for about an hour and at this point she just explodes. She's out for blood and moves quickly to drag Jen into the fight. She calls her a Cold Princess and mentions Jen's mother. Thats all it took. Jen snaps and pulls some screaming that i've never heard directed at anybody other than myself. When its all over i've been called arrogant a few dozen times. And my mother has said things about Bob Bermingham, Pat Bermingham and Jen. All of this over the fact that we're sick of her pushing her shopping requirements onto all those around her.
Growing up, Mrs Simpson would buy cool shit for my brother for xmas. My mother got "one-upped" on more than one occasion. Now she has this complex that everything is a fuckin competition. She moves in on everybody's presents. When Jen simply wants to buy something for her bother, my mother seems to think that she has to be represented as well.
She's nothing less than fuckin annoying.
So I yell at Jen to stop her screaming. Its just going to be used against us in the future. My mother will claim that we are awful children because of the screaming that we've done. The entire time she's pushing all the buttons that she can to get it out of us. I tell Jen to pack and in an instant She's on the move throwing all our shit in our bag. I lay into my mother at this point and tell her she's wa over the line. She doesn't care and keeps on it. She then says something cryptic. She says something like "Pat warned me about this before she died" I can't remember the exact words. And i really didn't understand the point she was trying to make. But it dragged Jen back into the fight. A little more screaming and I told my dad he either needed to call us a cab or drive us to the dock.
So we get to the dock and my father tries to resolve shit like he always does. He won't just fuckin GO AWAY. And of course he finds out what boat we're on. Jen and I get tickets on the 3:30 boat out of there. We've got a hour before it leaves. We check out bags and walk away from my dad. So we walk around town just in a daze. We get a few beers and a burger at Eric's on the pier. Then we head back to the dock. We grab our bags and realize that we're being cornered. My mother has shown up at the dock and needs to resolve everything. So with tears in her eyes, she CORNERS JEN!!
Now the last time this happened. My mother targetted Jen after the fight was over. When she tried to resolve things she cornered Jen and Jen's mother. So now... she targets Jen right from the beginning. She puts my wife in a position where she has to make a decision between my mother and me. And all she uses is GUILT. She cries and begs and acts like a fuckin child. She can dish it out, but when it comes down to it she's a whinny BITCH!
This time i walk away. And Jen gets the full amount of guilt from my mother. She's just been screaming at us less than an hour before and now she's trying o sell Jen a sob story. So as i walk away she corrals Jen. I have to go back for her and square off with my mom. I tell us to walk away and leave us alone. I could not be more direct. She corners Jen at the baggage check area and i step in the way. She continues to follow. She trails us all the way to the line for the boat and again corners Jen. At this point she's in line with Jen. I walk away again, because at this point i am very very close to physically assaulting her and dragging her away. I come back about 30 seconds later and she and my father have Jen cornered. I walk in and now i'm pissed. I face off with my mom and say "you stay away from both of us or we will get a restraining order to have the court protect us from you." I clear her away from Jen and do make enough of a scene that most of the people in line around us are staring at my mom.
So we get on the boat finally and get the fuck away from them.
So here are the questions i've been asking myself.
Is this actually me? Am I the one who is crazy? Does my mother have some kind of point? Am i arrogant? Am i suppose to support my mother instead of my wife?
Well it doesnt take a fuckin rocket scientist to figure this out. I have a good relationship with my Wife. I have a good relationship with my father in law. The behavior of my parents is NOT NORMAL. I've been dealing with the emotional problems that my mother has for far too long. I have been as supportive as i can possibly be toward my parents, but enough is enough. I'm not going to tolerate their bullshit anymore.
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