Dumb fucker

Tuesday July 10th 2007 10:03 AM PST

So i'm driving to work today, and I'm always on the lookout for people on cell phones. They slow all traffic, and eventually you end up being late just cause somebody is driving 25mph in a 40mph. I'm on MLKjr drive heading west, and merge onto Leimerte Blvd. At this point, this dumbass slides across 3 lanes and almost hits me as i'm coming to a stop at the light. Simply, there are 3 lanes, the far right lane is open, and that happens to be the lane i'm in. Dumb fucker is in the left lane, and approaching a stopped car in front of her. Cell phone is on the right side ear, so seeing anything off her right side is futile. No signal. She just makes the move for the open right lane... right into me. Well almost. She slams on her brakes as she passes through the middle lane just as she's about to slam into my left fender. Guy who was in the middle lane a couple car lengths back almost slams into the rear end of her.

funny part is, she's not really making these moves to drive any faster, she's just popping her head up from her phone call every once in awhile and making a decision on a lane change. No real reason for anything, just the kneejerk reaction of "oh, look! an open lane!"

So at least now she's behind me.

I take Leimeret to Vernon and turn right. She's a couple cars behind me at this point (still on the phone). She turns as well and ends up behind me at the intersection of Crenshaw and Vernon. I'm in front position in the right lane at the stoplight. She's directly behind me.

Now i gotta tell you this intersection is tricky. It really is... its not completely straight.

UPDATE TO IMAGE: pedestrians in yellow, dumb fucker in red

Vernon actually CURVES as it crosses Crenshaw!!!

Watch out, this is a really dangerous intersection!

Light is still red. I notice people standing on the corner directly in front of me in front of the starbucks.

light turns green... I start out, and successfully navigate the 15 degree turn through the intersection. ... well ... dumb fucker doesn't. She's still on the fuckin phone, and just hits the gas and noting else. I watch in amazement as in my rearview mirror she drives straight as an arrow directly into the corner. Lucky for every person standing there a few seconds before that they are now in the crosswalk crossing crenshaw out of the path of dumb fucker. She slams on her brakes, but only after she's slammed into the curb and smashed the shit out of her front bumper.

for a split second I was contemplating signaling, turning right at the next street, parking, grabbing my camera, running back a block and taking pictures. But, i was late for work.

At least nobody was hurt. I know for sure that if i saw a single person get hit on that sidewalk, that i would be parked and on the corner waiting to make a full statement to the police. DUI applies to ANYTHING that impairs your ability to drive an automobile. THAT INCLUDES A CELLPHONE!