fogger

 

Tuesday October 16th 2007 02:35 PM PST
I get on the freeway today behind a guy going about 45 to 50 mph. I leave him space and follow him up the onramp. I guess this wasn't fast enough for the guy behind me, cause he just gets on my bumper. Always fun. I accelerate as the guy in front of me does and finally get up to about 85 or 90. The guy behind me is no longer behind me cause, well... he's shot across all 5 lanes of traffic now sitting in the fast lane. going about 75 it looks. I chuckle. Normal asshole move, and I expect to see it a couple times during my commute.

So that brings me to the "NORMAL" things i see on my commute.

> People driving the speed limit in the fast lane.

> People on their cell phones driving 20 MPH slower than everybody else on the road

> People failing to use their blinker for ANYTHING

> People talking to passengers with their hands

> People reading the paper

> People doing their makeup

> People shaving

> People combing or brushing their hair

> People dialing their phone, staring at the screen, while their hands free ear piece is in their ear

> People eating their breakfast burrito (or any fast food item for that matter)

> People drinking from their over sized ceramic coffee cup, trying not to spill.

> People tipping their head back to get that last bit of coffee out of the bottom of their sippy cup.

These are seen EVERY DAY. No if's and's or buts'... there will be a sighting of EVERY SINGLE ONE of these things every time i jump in the car. But today i saw one that I usually don't see. Same guy who was tail-gating me on the onramp finally catches up when traffic slows down a bit at the bottom of the hill. I am cruising along in the lane just to the right of the fast lane, and the guy creeps up. He's staring at his cellphone while it looks like he's texting. He slows down and drifts behind me. About 30 seconds later he drifts up again with the traffic, and now he's bent over leaning over the passenger side getting something off the floor. He drifts back behind me. The another 30 seconds later he drifts back up.

now let me be clear. Traffic is FUCKING MOVING. we're all cruising along about 70 to 80.

this time he drifts up. his left elbow is holding the wheel. his left hand is holding a nice little glass pipe, and his right. Well you know... he's sparking a bowl. And he's really fuckin hitting it. At this point i am laughing my ass off. The guy to the right of me sees it, and he's just about on the floor laughing too.

I was a little too slow, but i got the exhale.

and if any law enforcement wants his plate number... i got that too.


Comments:
Wednesday October 17th 2007 08:24 AM PST
Oh hell, I used to do that nearly every day on my way home from MS...I dunno - as far as stupid stuff goes, it's a lot better than hitting the bottle (or the crack pipe for that matter). :) Funny how things change after marriage, though.
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